Humorous piece from Best Cigar Prices.
If you’re not hip to the lingo then here’s your chance to load up your brain with some savvy cigar slang. While it might sound like code to all those deprived non-smokers, your fellow brothers and sisters of the leaf will understand.
Herf – Used both as a noun and a verb, a herf is simply a gathering of cigar smokers. It’s also occasionally used to describe the act of smoking a cigar.
“Date night my ass! I’m going down to El Humidor tonight to herf with the guys!”
Vitola – This is the size and shape of a cigar. The terms can vary depending on the manufacturer. “Robusto” and “Churchill” are common examples while “Michelangelo” and “Sake Bomb” are more brand specific.
“Jeez, that cigar is huge. What vitola is it?”
“It’s the Gagger.”
Primings – These are the different leaves of the tobacco plant, organized by height, with the top leaves getting the most sunlight and therefore strength and flavor.
“They say this blend has viso and ligero primings from a sun-grown Estili crop. Translation: Delicious!”
Ligero – The topmost priming of the tobacco plant, this leaf gets the greatest concentration of sunlight and nutrients, giving it the strongest, boldest, most flavorful profile out of all the primings.
“It was my buddy’s first time smoking a cigar. I gave him a Rocky Patel Super Ligero and he passed out in the backyard.”
Tooth – This phenomena is observed on some cigars as small, uniform bumps across the outer leaf. This is caused by excess oils in the cigar’s wrapper.
“Hey, I think your stogie might have the chicken pox.”
“No, no. It’s just a toothy wrapper.”
Puro – While many cigars utilize tobaccos from several different countries, a puro contains tobacco all from the same one.
“I just picked up a box of Antarctic puros. Want to try one?”
“Umm, no thanks. I’ll stick to Dominican.”
Bouquet – This is a more imaginative name for the aroma of a cigar as it burns, sometimes called the room-note.
“Honey, I didn’t think you’d mind me smoking in the house. I mean just smell that bouquet!”
Plume – Also known as bloom, these are rare, small, white crystals on the wrapper of a cigar. It is a sign of proper aging and is believed to improve the cigar’s flavor many-fold. Do not confuse it with mold, which is spotty, looks fuzzy, and has webbing.
“Please, as I smoke this plume-covered Padron Family Reserve, forgive me if I weep.”
Vitolphile – You likely won’t hear this one much, but it refers to a person who enjoys collecting cigar bands.
“We don’t see much of Larry anymore. All he does is obsess over his cigar band collection. He’s a bonafide Vitolphile.”